Self-introduction email
Subject: self-introduction
Dear Prof Brad,
I am writing this email to
introduce myself to you and I hope that you can get to know me better. My name
is Quinian Foo, and I am a year 1 mechanical engineering student studying in
Singapore Institute of Technology. I have a diploma in mechatronics, and I have
a passion for engineering.
Since I was young, I have always
been a hands-on person. Fixing things and thinking outside of the box to seek
out creative solutions to the problems I faced was enjoyable for me. What makes
me unique is that I constantly think of ways to improve life through engineering.
I took up design and technology as a subject during my O levels and proceeded
to study mechatronics in Temasek Polytechnic. I excelled in engineering design
and interned at Singapore Technologies Aerospace where I continued to apply my
AutoCAD skills to work. I plan to specialize in design during my third year in
university to refine my AutoCAD skills. Using AutoCAD during secondary school
and polytechnic made me realize that I am good at it, and I want to work with
it in my future career.
I think that my communication
skills are subpar, but I think that there is room for improvement. I was shy in
the past, but I picked up valuable communications skills during my part time
jobs. This allowed me to talk to strangers comfortably. However, I am humbled
when it comes to presentations, due to my lack of experience, and I will start
to panic.
My goals in this module are to improve
my presentation skills, expand my range and usage of vocabulary. After
attending a few seminars of yours, I am inspired and confident that I will be
able to achieve my goals. After reading this email, I hope that you gained an
insight into who I am as a person.
Yours sincerely,
Quinian Foo
edited on 09 October 2023
commented on: Shakthi, Yi Han, Jun Heng
I like how you show your interest towards engineering with a very detailed explanation and examples. You also acknowledge that your communication skills is an area of improvement and this shows that you are proactive about self-improvement. One thing you can add in your email is what makes you different from other undergraduates or even people working in the industry.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment and I will use it to improve my email.
DeleteI like how you were very descriptive and in depth with your background education as well as your why you like engineering. i feel that you could elaborate more on your communication strengths. other than that, i feel that your blog is well written.
ReplyDeletei would like to add on that you never talked about what makes you unique as an individual.
DeleteThank you for your comment, and I agree that I missed out some unique pointers about myself. I will improve my email further.
DeleteHi Quinian! It is good to know that you are good at AutoCAD because you excelled during your intern. Maybe in the future you can assist me with AutoCAD if I face any problems. I feel that this letter is pretty well organized. However I agree with both Shakthi and Lucas that you can explain what differentiates you from others.
ReplyDeleteThanks man, I am definitely hoping that we could use each other's strengths to help each other out and I will explain further about my uniqueness.
DeleteHey Quinian, I feel that you can present your weakness in a more positive light. For instance, for the sentence "I think that my communication skills are subpar", you can rephrase it to "I recognize that my communication skills still requires room for growth, and I am actively working towards it". Other than that, I applaud you as your letter sufficiently displayed your passion for engineering given the substantial evidence you provided.
ReplyDeleteDear Quinian
ReplyDeleteThis is a well crafted and richly detailed letter. I appreciate learning about your being a hands-on guy and how that relates to your interest in 'fixing things,' your choice of mechanical engineering and your internship and CAD experience. (Often times it seems to be an internship that helps to change the direction of a person's study life.)
You also do a fairly decent job presenting your comm skills weaknesses -- the fear you have speaking in public -- and connecting that to your immediate needs and your module goals.
Your language use in this letter is fine, but there is an overuse of caps:
-- I have a diploma in Mechatronics... > ?
-- I took up Design and Technology.... > ?
-- proceeded to study Mechatronics > ?
I look forward to seeing your development as we continue the term.
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you for your feedback! I will amend my letter based on your advice.
ReplyDelete